My sister and I have challenged each other to lose 15 pounds by April 1. She’s smaller than I am, but we’re both rotund little women, of a type that might turn into prototypical Italian grandmas. In her case, the weight loss is for a wedding. In mine, it’s just garden-variety being sick and tired of my physical self in its current state.
A couple of years ago I lost about 30 pounds, but I’ve slowly but surely let the pounds creep their way back (as I have been prone to do all my life). My blood sugar numbers were under control, but now my endocrinologist has had to increase my medication, with the next dreaded step being daily injections. I also hate catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror (I try to avoid it most of the time), or being bombarded by my multitude of chins when I take a rare selfie or Face Time with my daughter. Spring is coming, the weather is getting warmer, and the layers of clothes will need to be peeled away before long (especially given the recent unseasonably warm February days). It’s long past time to kick-start some serious weight loss – 15 pounds for me would be just a drop in the bucket, but at least it would be a beginning – and better health, to emerge from my hibernatory sludge and shed those excess layers.
Exercise is a huge part of it. I’ve written about my attempts to start and sustain a walking regimen on multiple occasions (starting way back in one of my earliest posts, “Breaking Bad (Habits)”, 4/1/15). That’s key. In addition to the power walking, I’ve also been thinking about buying one of those twisty balance boards [the Simply Fit Board, $44.99, which seems like an awful lot for a curved slab of heavy-duty plastic – perhaps I can find a cheap knock-off, although I wouldn’t mind paying more for something as long as it was made in the USA] that the Shark Tank lady financed and also advertises on late-night TV infomercials so I can start using it when I get back in my house* (I shudder to think of the disturbance it would create for the lady downstairs if I did it here!!) when I’m watching the Rangers or catching up on my shows. Instead of sitting on my expanding ass, I could be twisting my fat away. I also kind of miss my yoga classes with the weird instructor at Long Beach Adult Ed, with his long stringy hair and bald pate. One thing is for certain: I must get more mobile. And once I do that, I’ll see an improvement on all fronts.
But the biggest issue for me, by far, is my obsessive eating. I’ve been trying to do some self-analysis to get to the root of the problem so I can hopefully break the cycle. Why am I an obsessive eater, completely unable to stop when I start? Well, I usually start eating out of boredom, or as a distraction, or procrastination. But I believe the obsessive part of it comes about because I like the taste of things. After eating something delicious, I just want that deliciousness to continue until my head and my stomach (or both) tell me it’s time to quit.
I’ve tried all the tricks, like, don’t have the “bad” stuff (really, the “good” stuff, you know what I mean?) in your house at all, or, if you must have it, put the healthy items up front and easily accessible and hide the naughties. But every time I go into the kitchen, I’m soon chest-deep in the fridge, completely ignoring the healthy snacks to dig out the hidden stashes. Or I’ll make up proper-serving-sized snack baggies with trigger foods – and then eat five of them, which defeats the purpose entirely.
Alas, despite my efforts at self-analysis, I don’t know why I do it, and I don’t know how to fix it. I’m just weak when it comes to delectable foods of all types: salty, sweet, savory – but mostly sweet. They just taste so good, I just don’t want the yumminess to end!! Perhaps the extra pressure of the competition with my sister, plus more activity in milder weather, can serve as an effective impetus (although it hasn’t so far, I’m afraid!).
* Update on moving back home: Inspections for the certificate of occupancy from the City of Long Beach and the balance of my grant from New York Rising are scheduled for this week. This is a huge relief. My contractor actually told me that, as far as he was concerned, I could move in any day. True, my boiler blew an electric circuit when they tried to install the thermostat incorrectly, but once that’s fixed, I’ll have heat, electricity and water. So what this means is: I am FINALLY going to hand in my notice to my landlord and leave as of the 15th of March. And then we’ll be home and we can make as much noise as we want!!